Tee hee~

Was it really that much better than t2?

http://eve-kill.net/?a=kill_detail&kll_id=12554372 

I can't stop myself! It's so much fun, and I still have positive security status!

I'll edit the time on the lottery post, so it should be the one that shows up on blag lists~

Hauler ganking for fun and profit

Here's the method:

You need two characters: One in a tornado set up similarly to this, and one hauler fitted with a 10 MN MWD and remote sensor boosters.

Then, you need a stargate in a pipe. Systems between jita and amarr are used a lot, but the downside is that they're used a lot. Be creative.

Sit the ganker on the gate your targets will be using to leave the system and about 30 km toward the gate that they'll be coming from. Set the hauler about 10 or 15 km from the gate.

[out gate]---10km---[hauler]---20km---[ganker]--------[in gate]

When something gankable warps in on autopilot, scan it. If it has a valuable cargo and a weak tank, kill it. Scoop the loot with your hauler and dock up to wait out the aggression timer.

Remember, kids: Positive security status is the same thing as permission to kill people in highsec.

http://eve-kill.net/?a=kill_detail&kll_id=12542827

Not particularly valuable, but extremely satisfying

Good-guy capsuleer of the week: Calasian

In the "good-guy capsuleer of the week" series, we honor pilots who spend their valuable time educating new players. The subject of this week's edition is elite space warrior Calasian.


In an exclusive interview with the eve-fail EXTREME investigative reporting team, Calasian revealed that unscrupulous newbie Julie Saunders stole from her, purloining objects from a private container. Instead of getting angry, Calasian gave the newbie something much more valuable: An education on aggression mechanics, and a bonus lesson about timers.







For outstanding services in new player education, and for fitting real guns on an amarr frigate, the eve-fail early education grant hereby awards Calasian 20 million isk (and the keys to our heart).

Signal boost: Troll limericks

There once was a new capsuleer
Who didn't know that he should fear
The troll who lied waiting
With buckets for baiting
And harvesting epic-sized tears

An anonymous left that in comments, and I thought it should be shared.

Hmm...

There once was a pilot with honor
Who learning tricks could not be bothered
One fateful morning
He clicked past a warning
And lost his T3 to a bomber

...I hereby encourage the internet to join in.

Good-guy capsuleer of the week

Eve-fail is proud to present our brand new series, good-guy-capsuleer of the week. In this series we will be highlighting older players who go out of their way to educate newbies on the intricacies of the eve universe.

Louis roscommon is a 2009 pilot. This honourable space warrior took time out of his busy day to visit newbie system Cistuvaert and educate 6-day-old pilot Macus sork about highsec aggression mechanics, potentially saving him from losing an expensive ship someday. A valuable lesson!

Louis hereby becomes the first recipient of the eve-fail early education grant. The grant thanks Louis for outstanding services in new player education, and awards him a taranis hull.

PS: Trolololol ^_^

Incursion tears: Epic edition

So anyway. You've probably heard of the incursion interdiction, in which people are forming fleets to kill sansha motherships, forcing incursions to despawn instead of letting the incursion runners farm them for days. This - even before they started killing moms - has produced an endless ocean of tears on the forums, to rival even the ice interdiction. And these are the very best sort of tears, the ones produced by highsec 'elitists' with an entitlement complex. The sheer, sadistic joy of watching them curse the gods and shake their tiny fists in impotent rage is intoxicating.


On saturday the incursion griefers rolled out and shut down all the highsec incursions. Three more popped up overnight, and by euro prime the mom sites were available. The interdictors rolled out again, and this time I joined up in a shitfit tempest.

We formed at 2100, hit the first site, and BTL contested it and tried to suicide gank us with ECM and smartbombs. The fun was doubled!

We lost a guardian to the gank attempt, they lost their ships and somehow managed to pod their own fc. We finished the site, burned to the other two incursion sites and took them out too, cackling madly on comms all the while. It took 1 hour and 50 minutes to end all three of them, completely shutting down highsec incursion running.

May need to open in new tab

Now, serious business. Incursions are good because they get people to people work together. The incursion interdiction is also good because it is emergent, player generated content where people work together, as well as the most fun I've had in eve in years.

If you'd like to join in, here's how you do it:

Join:
Channel: Grief the bears
Teamspeak 3: 178.32.239.141

Fleets seem to roll around 2000

If you just want to harvest tears, watch the 'btl pub' and 'the ditanian fleet' channels, and the forums.

Insightful commentary on the insurance changes

Since the ice interdiction started, highsec scrubs have been making a lot of noise about wanting suicide gankers not to receive insurance. And with crucible, they got their wish.

Since they're so fired up about it, one has to assume that they think it will change something. I'm not really sure where they would get that idea.

See this guy? I like him because he gets eve.

To celebrate the insurance changes, I bought a talos.

Killmail

The end.

The ice must floe

So goons are ganking bots and people who are mining gallente ice (which produces oxygen isotopes), to fill the game with tears and fuck.

You can read the plan. There's been some discussion as to whether it's for real or not, and I was curious to know what was actually happening. So I checked.

The plan includes a list of target systems. Shortly after hearing about the project I checked a few systems and found no gankers, and about 10-20 miners in each ice belt. 12 hours after that, I went through the list and checked every (non-island) system. This is what I found:

• Ardallabier - 2 miners, down from ~15 earlier. Ganks ongoing.
• Brapelille - 12 miners, ganks ongoing.
• Jaschercis - 5 miners. These ones are trying to be tricky, using ECM drones, RR, and hulks instead of mackinaws. An alpha pest or maybe two smartbombers could kill them, but I hung out for a while and nobody took them out.
• Angymonne - 1 miner.
• Aydoteaux - 5 miners, ganks ongoing.
• Carirgnottin - 6... 5... 4 miners, ganks ongoing.
• Tolle - 1 miner.
• Ignebaener - A single miner, being bumped by a gank brutix while the brutix pilot mourned the lack of remaining targets.

Out of curiosity, I then re-visited the systems in reverse order

• Tolle - No miners.
• Carirgnottin - No miners.
• Aydoteaux - 3 miners, surrounded by exhumer and gank ship wrecks. I suspect they were replacing lost mackinaws from a stock in station. Obviously bots. Ganks ongoing.
• Angymonne - No miners.
• Jaschercis - 2 miners. No visible gank activity.
• Brapelille - 2 miners, ganks ongoing.
• Ardallabier - 1 miner, ganks ongoing.

Here's the goon killboard. The search tool shows 280 exhumer and mining barge kills in the last two days, which appear to have taken place almost exclusively in gallente highsec.

I'm gon' call it, highsec oxygen isotope production has been shut down hard. So what's going on with the market?

Well, as soon as the 'goonswarm shrugged' announcement was made, well before ganks started, speculation drove the price of isotopes up to about 3 times their previous price. At that point people started selling stock for hilarious profits, which caused the price to stabilize and even decrease. Some people who would have otherwise held their stock mistook this for a peak and also put their stock up for sale. Currently oxygen isotopes in jita are 1050 isk per unit, down from a peak of about 1300.

And what happens next? Two possibilities:

1. Goons stop killing miners, prices return to normal.
2. Goons keep ice production shut down, stocks are depleted and the price increases more. Possibly a lot more.

I'm betting on number 2 at the moment. It won't last forever, but things could be really interesting in the meantime.

Lastly, forums. There is a thread, and it is full of sperging goonhate, tears and some of the dumbest shit I've ever read. It's beautiful.

CSM done good

So, we got everything most people wanted. All wrapped in vague timelines and corporation speak of course, but anybody who didn't expect that probably can't type and breathe at the same time.

Newai. If you're reading this you've already read the official poast and trebor's post, watched the video and read the reactions, so I'm not going to go on at length.

But, you remember back when the blagosphere was sperging with nerd rage about mittens in particular and the new CSM in general? And when I said that the CSM would be good and mittens was a very effective politician? [1] [2]

Yeah, I'm going to take this opportunity to rub it in, and gloat a little. I didn't get where I am without being petty and vindictive.

More about mittens

Every single person who has been crying about mittens needs to read the entirety of seleene's post. Then they can STFU, and maybe even do some thinking and research next time instead of sperge-blasting mindless goon hate.

You could try to hang onto the theory that the CSM won't get along with CCP. That's called chasing a sunken cost, and it's dumb. Go ahead though, I'll actually get more satisfaction from mocking you when we start seeing results than changing your mind now.

CSM 6 results: Suck it, bitches

So the CSM results are out, and they are delicious. This year 0.0 has decided to organize for the purpose of being represented in the CSM, which has caused a diverse selection of nobodies on the forums to cry and whine about the vast nullsec conspiracy to control the CSM.

Well you're goddam right we're going to control the CSM if we feel like it. The ability to organize people is what wins elections, and we're better at it than you.

So suck it.

With the election over and the tears harvested, we now return to our regularly scheduled programming.

(the results are 7 nullsec players and 2 others, by the way)

Gankers Are Bad People

I've been seeing this assertion a lot lately, people declaring that those who kill innocent miners or mission-runners are immoral, evil or even real-life sociopaths. And it pisses me off.

Part of the reason it annoys me is that although the accusation makes no sense in the context of eve, it's easy to see how people could buy into it: killing somebody's internet spaceship makes them sad, and making people sad on purpose means you are a bad person. Right?

Let's take that to an extreme then. Let us say that an alliance leader starts a war, destroying thousands of ships and seizing or destroying hundreds of billions of isk worth of assets. If we consider a player who ganks a hulk to be a bad person then this alliance leader, who has ruined the internet spaceship lives of hundreds of people, clearly has the morals of a genocidal maniac.

That sounds stupid so I'm going to make some assertons:

1. Spaceships being blown up is part of eve.
2. Generally, nobody likes having their spaceship being blown up.

If we accept those, then it's time to ask a question of the people who whine about gankers: What is so damn special about your particular spaceship that having it blown up gives you the right to pass moral judgment on people who are playing the game and having fun?

I don't see there being an answer to that which would change my mind, so the issue is resolved to my satisfaction. Thus, in order to ameliorate my annoyance, I resolved to gank a hulk in highsec for every time I was irritated by people whinging about griefers.

[17:43:48] Eifi > are you crazy??
[17:45:15] Eifi > stupid fuckkers
[17:45:44] Eifi > i need to kill hulk in highsec cause my dick is too small !!!
[17:45:49] Eifi > ttsss

And it was d-lishous.

Interwebs wrapup

On the internets today we have three items of note:

In relation to the Atlas war there are two accurate, well-thought-out assessments of why we lost... by our enemies! I had not thought this was possible. Props to Quesa and Czech Lion for not being douches.

A series of mind-blowing EVE fan art exists. Click it.

One Helicity Boson, the force behind hulkageddon 2, made the best post ever in an epic rant attacking gank victims/whiners for their own failure to take their fate into their own hands.